Managing Anxiety: My own tips and tricks
There is a slight hum from the AC unit droning on faintly in the background as I listen to Brain.FM with my old school Beats on my head. Sitting indian style, because no matter how many times I work it, full lotus is just not a viable position yet. Felix, my small, beautifully black, cat rubs up against my knee, making sure I stay in this realm of consciousness, preventing me blast off to Nirvana each and every time I think I am close. Really, it’s not her fault, but she does seem to manage to intuitively know when I am at my most relaxed and doubtless will beg for attention at just that moment.
Believe it or not, this is one of the most difficult tasks of my day. Meditating is something that I meet with such great resistance, sometimes I step back in awe of the power of my own ego. The way it conceives of reasons to open my eyes, stand up, and give the whole thing up. Or sometimes thoughts come through the mental station that place me at moments in my past where mistakes were made, words were misspoken, and ruminations swirl inside. At just that moment, Inhale…. Exhale. Back to the breathe.
I came across a quote the other day from I believe Michael Pollen, but I am afraid my memory may be off, that was along the lines of, “Depression is rumination about the past, while anxiety is rumination about the future and future loss.” This struck it on the head. That is why they are so intertwined, one symptom leading directly to the next, in a vicious cycle in the battle for your sanity. Depression is a bitch, one that I dealt with in my teens right around the time my hormones were at their most chaotic. As they have leveled out, anxiety has creeped slowly in over the years.
The worst part about having anxiety? Having anxiety causes me to have anxiety. Because I am conscious of it, aware of how it affects my relationships, how it screws with my mood, and how it can make me a pain to be around. “Well, why don’t you stop being anxious? Just don’t think about it, think of something else to take your mind off of it?” Okay… Well, why don’t you stop sneezing? Don’t cough. Stop shaking when you’re cold, stop sweating when you’re hot. Get it? I cannot control it, rather I can merely manage.
My entire lifestyle is a balance of managing my anxiety, riding a fine line of being immobilized by fear and the anxiety needed to motivate me towards my goals. Yet, I do not find myself much different, or rather as far as I observe, from the common person. From the person you see when you glance in the mirror, I really am no different. As humans, we struggle, we love, we laugh, but again, we struggle. Maybe I struggle with anxiety a little more than what is average, but I when I observe others, hear of their problems and worries, I find we are all on the same boat. However, it is the lifestyles that differ. I cannot say that other people do not try and mitigate their anxiety, for of course an individual is going to seek comfort, yet I can tell you that it is rare to find someone that is making the correct choices to do just that.
Yes, I did say correct choices, because there are things that will create an environment for anxiety to fester and there are things that one can do to lessen it. Watching Netflix and smashing your hand into a aluminium bag filled with fried carbs probably isn’t going to lower your anxiety. Nor is browsing social media, making constant comparisons of your own life to the highlights of others.
Again, I cannot pretend I am any different from anyone else, for those examples apply to my own situation as well. However, I recognize the detriment that these acts have on my battle of my mind, and I do my best to avoid them. Avoiding things that are not the most beneficial is half the battle, and now we start to come full circle, back meditation. Once I avoid, for example, wasting my time flicking through instagram, I am left with a large block of time in which I need to fill with another activity. Most of that time leaves me with my eyes closed, learning to quiet my thoughts and control the wandering of the mind. But that is not the only method or activity that seems to help me. So, I figured I would provide you a list of the things I do to manage and steer my anxiety, methods that have helped me, and I hope, will help you.
What to do other than be Anxious
- First off, BREATHE. I cannot stress this enough. A commonality in all situations in life, and I really mean ALL, is the breathe. It is constant. It is there when you notice it, and continues (thank god) when you don’t. Step back, realize that you are part of the earth, not separate from it, and with all beings, you share in that breath of life. Relish for a moment in that thought.
- Read a book. I find that when I am anxious, when my mind is ruminating on a to do list that I have already completed, delving into a story of fiction allows me to enter another’s world for a moment. Now, this is the same concept with watching Netflix, but I find it less of a strain on the mind and more useful to read. Reading some nonfiction as well is a great move, to learn a new fact or pursue a passion.
- Go to the gym! I cannot stress enough the importance of resistance training and working out in general for mental well being. If you do move and workout, your hormones are going to be all out of whack, wondering as to why you have not fired up the engine that is your body so that they can be signaled to be released. I know you “do not want too,” but you NEED TOO.
- Go for a walk outside. I average about 16,000 steps a day because much of my time is spent on my feet. My anxiety seems to be constant, so when I am not forcing myself to sit and meditate, I am walking, listening to a podcast or some music. Again, moving in general is going to help you achieve a better state of mind.
- Talk to a friend or member of the family. You don’t have to talk about your anxiety, but conversing and being social with those that care about you can prove to be vastly beneficial. There are times I avoid people for an entire day. Avoiding eye contact, avoiding being stopped for a quick chat, avoiding being seen in public. But each and every time that I am feeling that way and I socialize with those I love, I feel better.
- Clean your room. Sounds like a chore, but you should not think of it as such. It is a task that is going to clean up your environment, which in turn is going to have an effect on your mental space as well. I always find a tidy and organized room brings me a greater level of peace.
- Listen to music! Actually listen. Not this bullshit that you put on some tunes when you are running or lifting weights, working on homework, or in the car. Put some headphones on, close your eyes, lay your head back, and listen.
- Watch a comedy special. This is one time I will say to get on Netflix and flip through the stand up section. Comedy holds a special place in my heart, and seeing some of the greats perform can bring a joy that leaves you bent over in pain from laughter.
- Write. Journal. Keep a diary. Whatever you want to call it, do it. I know that I struggle with just starting, running into a block of what to actually write about. However, just start writing something. Write about how you cannot think of anything to write, how that frustrates you, and you’ll be on your way in no time.
- One last thing that you could be doing rather than being anxious is sleep! It sounds silly, because if you are anxious, how in the hell are you going to calm down enough to sleep? But you can start tonight. Get to bed a little earlier, and wake up in the morning before 8am. A lack of sleep will cause the anxiety of life to compound exponentially. If you think you are stressed or anxious now, stay up for 24 hours and tell me how that is going for you. For the general person (unless you are part of the 5% in the world) you need no less than 7 hours of sleep a night. Any less and the detriment to your health starts to take effect.
I will be the first to admit that anxiety is a bitch. She stops you in your tracks, holds you up on your ideas, says no to your plans, keeps you in fear of the future, and ruins the bond and connection to others. But that is why managing and taking the reigns is important, rather than letting anxiety steer your life. When you have a cough, taking some cough drops soothes the itch, and can provide some relief. So too can the tips above soothe your anxiety. It will not cure it, as I believe there is nothing that can truly get rid of anxiety, nor would that even be the goal. Anxiety is not the enemy, for it can motivate us to achieve more or reach our goals, but managing the extremes and what to do when it becomes to much should be the idea.
Try them out, and let me know how it goes for you! Best of luck my friends.